The demon within...

Everyone has a darker side to them if they say they do not they lie boldfaced.

We all have desire, want, needs... obsessions.

We call these things our 'demons' although to some that term is more literal than others. Possession is something that does not have to come from an external source, sometimes our own carnal needs takes over our conscious thoughts. The need to act impulsively stimulated by a lack of control over a need unmet. Eventually if allowed to run its course either the subject destroys themselves because of the need overcoming the rational mind or the need is filled, met and thus they move on; the latter being the rarer of observation.

We all have demons within us, me being no stranger to the feeling of knowing that somewhere in my consciousness a set of blazing eyes stares back at me watching my every move. I am a creature of darkness, literally not figuratively. The night holds great meaning for me, the moon strengthens my blood and its stages in the sky are methodically religious to me, rebirth and repair... and to reign back the elven blood that holds both wild raw fury and steeled frigidness.

The fight between good and evil, right and wrong has many grey area's. I learned this over time as I grew older. My father was a Captain of Her Majesty's naval fleet, a position not easily gained by one who wasn't human. I saw him take a knife to his ears trimming back the cartilage, it was for our safety, for our well being he had to suffer masochistic tendencies.

My stepmother, a human woman that cared for me like her own son forbid me the practice my father did. For that I was ridiculed, belittled and spat upon by non human haters. This sparked something dark within me, something that our blood as elves forbids us to go that route... hatred. Meditation sealed away the anger, the pain and the hatred, but it was ever present. I opened the door to a place we could not venture, and it forever remained open.

Gunnar, my elder stepbrother often left home and traveled far and wide. I followed his footsteps and traveled myself for some time. I traveled east to the lands of the orient and learned to calm my mind, to use the chaos that which resided within for energy to fight. It was the first time I took a sword in hand having been subject to wayward magics in my own blood. I returned home with the dual Musashi blades as a way to practice and calm my mind.

When our parents died under strange circumstance I somehow knew that me and my sister may be in danger... and not from assassins. Our home was in an all human community north into the frozen tundra's of the provinces of Canada, we traveled south following small bands of folks. I took odd jobs not being able to escape the fact that I was an elf and my kind were misunderstood by those of this area and thus not wanted.

Sometimes they would come after me, I was never a fist figther but I learned to become one quickly. Only the strongest survive and no meditation could pull aside the fact that I had to hurt others in order to survive. I had to lie, cheat and steal, I may have very well cut my ears off... one never knows what the outcomes of a different path may have lead to.

It was a night of a new moon when its pull was weakest in my blood that the demon surfaced. I had been ridiculed and spat on long enough. I snapped, I think is what the human term is. When I awoke there were bodies lying around me and I was the only one standing. Each silver talon on each digit was bathed in blood of innocent people. I cried that night in full demonic form begging forgiveness to the moon goddess of elven lore and the moon god Tsukiyomi of whom I had become an embodiment of. My pleas were heard but I had committed a grave sin and must carry that burden forever and beyond the rivers of Tal'jah when I cross into the next realm.

I gave in when I should not have, and from that day forward my demon manifests itself in extreme sorrow and anguish. You learn to deal with the hate, the anger, you meditate, you become someone else entirely... that is my burden to carry for the rest of my immortal life.

So when Jeremiah Mason asked me to bring him Bloodwing to prove myself a host of the hydra, I laughed, scoffed his promises of empty power that would be eaten away by the darkness within me. The moon elves are not nature's children as our other cousins are known for. We are either black or white, innocence purified by iniquity, evil tainted by purity... a delicate balance.... perhaps an abomination of nature.

Or perhaps that's the demon within.